What are you talking about, little girl?

My son has featured the most in my previous blogs due to him being older and saying more, but here are 5 of P’s most random comments to date. 

1. I dropped my cuddle!

2. Problem. Daddy is a wolf.

3. No no no no no no no, I don’t want nipples!

4. My sock doesn’t work.

5. C: (quoting the film Inside Out) I rest my case.

P: I rest my cake.


Where is my….

The most frequent question I get asked is ‘where is my…’ and it drives me nuts!

C: where is my Optimus Prime?

P: where is my mousey?

Daddy: where are my keys/slippers/bag/work folder/letter etc.

Yes, I think my husband is possibly the main culprit.

Here is where I have found a few of our missing items:

My 2 year old daughter was actually about to put the washing machine on. I’m sure this may have been where our missing remote control went.  
Spot the missing wooden sheep!

  Yep, and obviously that goes there…


Dinosaur Slime vs ‘Spider coming to get you’ Activity-off

Here’s a quick  comparison of 2 of our activities with a 4 year old and a 2 year old.

Dinosaur slime

Equipment: cornflour & water, food colouring, plastic dinosaurs.

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Time spent on this activity by 4 year old: 5 minutes

Time spent by 2 year old: 7 minutes

Fun rating: 4/10

Mess rating: 5/10

Potential to develop arachnophobia 0/10

Spider coming to get you

Equipment: tickly hands and the phrase ‘it’s a spider. It’s coming to get you!’

Preparation time: 0 minutes

Time spent on activity by 4 & 2 year old: 30 minutes +

Fun rating: 8/10

Mess rating 0/10

Potential to develop a arachnophobia 3/10!

Maybe arachnophobia isn’t so bad?!!!

My poo bones are really bummy

  I am happy to say that we are now completely free from nappies and pull ups – Yay! Here are some poo, wee and fart quotes from along the toilet training journey.

‘I’ve got rain in my willy. It’s going fast. You have to run away from it!’


Daddy: have you pooped?

C: No.

Daddy: have you trumped?

C: No.

Daddy: Have you farted?



Meanwhile, my daughter will often go to the toilet just to trump.


C: I’m making something.

Mummy: What are you making?

C: A power poo.


Mummy [singing Old MacDonald]: And on that farm he had a-

C: Poo!


Mummy: Come on, P, let’s leave C to have his poo.

C: I want her. I want P to watch me have a poo.

He tends to want privacy these days but I often go in when he has finished to find the room cordoned off by toilet roll tied from the toilet roll holder to the sink, making it look like a police crime scene.


And finally…

C: I pooped then fell asleep. I’m a paradox!

I’m not brave. I’m magnificent!

So, this is a bit of continuation to my first blog ‘I pushed a crow out of bed’ and features funny, weird and random quotes that give a glimpse into the minds of my kids. These will eventually be turned into a book for my kids’ 18th birthdays. The topic for today is Self Esteem. Enjoy!

As a general rule, I give my children a lot of praise. I was quiet and under-confident as a child and I want my kids to have confidence and resilience and to hold themselves in high regard. However, judging by the following quotes I have a slight bit of concern that I may be turning them into flagrant narcissists!

[C fell onto his bottom]

Me: Are you OK?

C: I’m OK.

Me: You are brave.

C: I’m not brave. I’m magnificent!

I don’t praise C by telling him he is magnificent,  by the way! I think he has picked up this word from the picture books we read. Mighty Mo by Alison Brown features the word ‘magnificent’ and delights C and P.

‘Look at my magnificent picture.’

‘I love me.’

‘I’m just funny.’


I’m not sure where he has got ‘fabulous’ from though…

‘Look at my fabulous tongue.’

‘I’ve got fabulous hair.’

Me: Let’s put some cream on your bum.

C: Cream? On my fabulous bum?


P has not made such blatant statements of greatness yet but here is the last word from her in a similar vein:

‘Thank you. I’m welcome!’


Thanks for reading. I’m welcome!






I pushed a crow out of bed

Scan_20160312.pngOver the last year or so I have been writing down some of the random and funny things my son has said, with the idea that I will eventually compile these in a book to give to him on his 18th birthday. I have started doing this recently for my daughter too but as she is younger she is still using language in quite a functional way like ‘need a juice’, ‘need a wee’, ‘need Mousey’.

So, for my very first blog post I thought it would be nice to share this idea and some of the quotes I have gathered so far. I will just stick to a couple of topic areas here and there will be more to follow in future posts.



‘My teeth are tired’

‘My eyes are too hot’

‘My knee is a bit thin’

‘My bottom doesn’t matter’

‘My fingers are in danger’

‘Girls don’t have ears’

I’m guessing at this sort of age (around 3 at the time of these comments) that children are forming their sense of self and becoming more aware of their body is probably part of that. This is just a guess – I seem to remember something vaguely of that nature at A level Psychology in the child development topic – but then my first psychology teacher went to do some photocopying and never came back and my second psychology teacher ran off with the German exchange student. So don’t quote me on it!

C: I’ve got a lumpy bit.

Me: That’s your ankle.

C: I’m pushing it so it goes.

Me: It won’t go, it’s supposed to be like that.

C: It can’t be like that! My ankle is ridiculous!


Speaking of psychology, here is some slightly Freudian stuff:

C: Mummy, you’ve got a willy.

Me: No…

C: I’ve got a willy.

Me: That’s right, and Daddy’s got a willy.

C: And P [sister] has got a willy.

Me: No, girls don’t have willies. Boys have willies.

C: You should get yourself a willy.


C: Have you pulled your willy off Mummy?


And the last word on anatomy from my daughter:

P: [pointing at her bum] That’s my boob.



‘I pushed a crow out of bed’

‘There was a cow in my dream. It licked my tummy. It was frightful!’

For some time my son was scared of ‘The Night Cow’ which was a dream about a giant ‘custardy’ cow. Around this time he was talking quite a lot about animals including the ones he was dreaming about.

C: A spider was licking me last night.

Me: On your arm or your leg?

C: On my sprinkle [freckle].


And here are some general zoological observations:

‘Cows are quite tough’

‘There aren’t any bad fish’

‘Worms can jump’

‘I wish I was a starfish’

‘If worms come in here I’ll be cross about it’


And from my daughter:

Me: What can you see outside?

P: An octopus.

Me: There’s not an octopus outside.

P: It’s hiding.


I hope that has been mildly entertaining! If so, future topics will include Self Esteem, Food & Drink, and Wees & Poos.